I used to hate my nose. I thought it was too big. I would make sure I was always facing someone straight on rather than allowing them to look at my profile. I would stare at it in the mirror trying to convince myself it wasn’t so bad.

And my hair. My hair was too big, too. I straightened it almost every day in middle school and high school. I learned to believe that big, curly, frizzy hair attracted too much attention, and not in a good way (although apparently things were different in the 80s)…

And my body. I was too curvy. I shouldn’t take up too much space. I tried to shrink, even though my body was happy right where it was.

And then, not only did I feel like I had to be lesser and smaller physically, I had to also take up less emotional space. I believed that I had to be “modest,” polite, quiet, and delicate. Don’t get angry. Don’t be too loud. Don’t be too strong. It was unattractive to show too much emotion; I believed that if I did, people would automatically assume I was a hormonal, menstruating mess, or that I was certifiably crazy. I didn’t want anyone to be mad at me or dislike me, so I tried to make myself small.

I didn’t want to be on the cover of my album. I wanted to look tiny if I was going to be on the cover at all. Part of that was because I wanted the landscape to look really big and breathtaking, but I also didn’t want to be vulnerable and exposed. If I was just a speck inside the mountains (which I do love feeling humbled by), with my back turned and my face unrevealed, I would be safe.

As I was deciding between a few photos, I remembered why I came out West. I had come to a point where I couldn’t stay stuffed inside any more boundaries and expectations – the job, the apartment, the religion, the safe and predictable hometown, the attempt to settle down. The wide open spaces called me at the start of my new life journey a year ago, and continue to do so. They’ve been my escape, my refuge. There is so much space to hold me. I can be free.

Now I’ve come to realize that my nose isn’t “too big.” What is “big” relative to, anyway? Some made-up standard? It’s perfect the way it is. It’s got character. It’s still an ongoing process, but ultimately, I love my hair and I love my curves. I now let my curls go wild, and allow my body to take up the space it needs to stand strong.

As for taking up emotional space…I am allowed to be upset, angry, frustrated, or ecstatic. I’m allowed to speak up when something isn’t right. Maybe not everyone will like me, but I’m not going to apologize for who I am.

I’m letting you see me…all of me. That’s what my choice for the cover represents. When we are able to see and be seen, hear and be heard – that’s when we can truly connect.

This album is about stepping into your power. Finding yourself in the wild and untamed. Revealing all the ugliness because it’s gotten you to where you are and where you’re going. Going after what you really want, no matter what anyone thinks. Freeing yourself of expectations, fear, shame, boundaries – physical and mental – and anything that doesn’t feel right.

All 8 songs were written within the past 2 years. Half of them reflect a longing to be free, and the other half were written in and about some of the places I found the freedom I was looking for (“Angels Landing,” Zion National Park; “Burning All My Bridges,” in my car on the highway leaving Nashville; “Badwater,” Death Valley National Park, “Give Me a Home,” Yellowstone National Park).

I challenge you to allow yourself to be bigger. Take up as much space as you need. Show your fullness. There is always room for you.

I’ve just released the album on Bandcamp for an early listen.

Coming soon to iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, and more!